Rural Australian Computer Terminology
LOG ON Adding
wood to make the barbie hotter.
LOG OFF Not
adding any more wood to the barbie.
MONITOR Keeping
an eye on the barbie.
DOWNLOAD Getting
the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE Making
the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD Where
you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOW What
you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN What
you shut in the mozzie season.
BYTE What
mozzies do.
MEGABYTE What
Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP A
bar snack.
MICROCHIP What's
left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM What
you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP Where
the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE Plastic
knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE Stainless
steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE The
small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME What
holds the shed up.
WEB What
spiders make.
WEBSITE Usually
in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE What
you do when the Ute won't go.
CURSOR What
you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO What
you say when the Ute does go.
UPGRADE A
steep hill.
SERVER The
person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER The
bloke at the pub who brings out the counterlunch.
USER The
neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK What
you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET Where
you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE What
the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.
ONLINE Where
you hang the washing.
OFFLINE Where the washing ends up
when the pegs aren't strong enough.
